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Cassi, you're a fucking twat. Everyone knows it. You have no friends. No one likes you. Your life is insignificant and pointless.
Truthfully, however, that's bullshit, as much as I hate to admit it. You're an extremely good friend and I enjoy our conversations (my one-way destruction of you) very much. Thank the gods that you understand my sense of humor, for one. But more, you are similar, which I love. You're one of the few people I can entrust personal things to. And I never thought I'd say this, but I give you permission to take part in English-calibre banter. You have proven yourself to be more than American.
So, consequently, thank you for not being an American American. Thank you for partaking in our abusive relationship. Thank you for tolerating my drunk antics, including calls, time and time again.
In short, and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this, you are an absolute lad.
