Suicide note

Current mood: depressed

Category: Life

I am so sorry for being so weak, I am sorry for being who I am, I am sorry for being a disappointment. Hell, if I didn't feel sorry for myself, who would? I am so sorry for being such an inconvenience to your life or did you even notice me at all except when you needed me to do something for you and if I wasn't around, did you even think of me at all? When was the last time you saw me cry and when you did, what did you do? Did you comfort me or did you lie and say everything will be better? Who ever notices when I break down and need a friend? I am so tired. I been looking forward to this day for a long time. I am sorry for being selfish and think only about what I am lacking but you know what? Ask those who I provide for if they are lacking. Chances are, they aren't and guess who is responsible for that? But what do I get? No, I didn't ask for a medal but I sure as hell didn't deserve harder disappointments or burdens either. So excuse me if I got weak but I am not superman. I just felt no one was there for me and no one ever will. I cried in all forms, I opened my heart, who noticed? Who knocked on MY door and asked to come in even when the door was wide open? Tell me, did you ever wonder what I was doing all the times when you were feeling good, spending time with your loved ones, hamming it up with your friends, having a good time? I am sorry for being a crybaby but the difference between you and me is that when you cry, people come running, when I cry, no one cares. When was the last time you let me know you appreciated me. Well if you did, I sure as hell didn't feel it. Maybe you thought you were showing me some love by forwarding one of those "Jesus loves you" emails or posting some Goddamned premade friendship comment on Myspace. When was the last time you sent a heartfelt message, letting me know I meant something? When was the last time I sent something like that to you, you ask? Well guess what, this IS it.......

No I am not really going to kill myself but if seeing this almost stopped your heart, think of someone you haven't shown love to or someone you are afraid of losing and let them know you love them. Think of someone you know who you feel could use a friend and reach out to them, always be aware of how you treat others and their signs and messages, you never know what is going on inside their head.